Reduce Stress: Five Boundaries You Must Set to De-Stress Part 1

Reduce Stress: Five Boundaries You Must Set to De-Stress Part 1

Reduce Stress: Five Boundaries You Must Set to De-Stress Part 1

Most people these days feel overloaded, overworked, overtired, over-everything! Not only are our plates full, but we’re about to drop everything on the floor. 

May I suggest that boundaries are the key to regaining your energy, your peace of mind, and your productivity? Think about it. If you’re going in a million directions trying to please everyone, will you ever reach even ONE destination? You’ll drive around in circles or a zigzag, but you certainly won’t get anywhere.

Let me suggest some boundaries you can set that will free you up for success.  The first thing I suggest is taking a time-out.  Did you know that surgeons are required to do a time-out and make sure all the players are in their places?  Yep, they have to double check these things.  You should, too.

Shut everyone and everything out for just a few minutes each morning. Develop a daily practice of listening, a time alone in which you check in with yourself, review your mission, and ask, “What is the best, most valuable use of my time right now and today?”

Whether you work for yourself or work for someone else, always make sure you align your work with your values.  You must do this to create balance in your life so you don’t get burned out.  Check out the video below to find out about an awesome freebie that will help you overcome overwhelm.

So grab the bull by the horns and get on it, pardner!

Onwards,

Get your free copy of How to Overcome Overwhelm in 7 Easy Steps and your free enewsletter with VIP discounts here!


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    Reduce Stress: Five Boundaries You Must Set to De-Stress Part 1

    Secrets To Have More Time Part 2

    Secrets To Have More Time Part 2

    In Part 1 of this blog post, we spoke to P.M. about her extreme case of do-itus.  She tried to be Super Woman to everyone around her.  Being pulled in all those different directions had her feeling drained and, well, not so super.

    I have good news for all the sufferers of do-itus! You can and will recover from do-itus, I can vouch for that. I’m about to hire one or two college interns to help me in my business.  I’ve already got a Virtual Assistant (an office manager who works for me from afar) and a Web Master.  Now I need more help with some parts of my business that aren’t difficult but are tedious and time-consuming. It is far better for me to pay someone minimum wage or better ($7.25 plus) to work on these activities than to spend more time on them.

    Chew on this: What is the value of your hour when you are doing your best profit-producing activities?  When you do these activities, how much can you earn? Figure this out, or at least estimate it, and then only do those tasks that produce profit AND that you really enjoy.

    For example, if you can earn $50/hour editing, why would you do database entry that you can pay someone to do  for $10/hour–or why would you provide all the care for your mother when you can hire a helper for 10-$15/hour??  You’ve got to protect the value of your hour–and you’ve got to spend it on what will make your business GROW and THRIVE–even if it requires some investment of $$$ up front!

    Incidentally, growing your business will help YOU thrive and you won’t be walking around, slumped over, carrying the weight of the world on your solitary, self-effacing (and self-negating!) shoulders.

    There are enough martyrs in the Catholic church, girl! Don’t be one of those people who takes care of everyone else and leaves herself out in the rain.  Get selfish–unabashedly–about your time and protect it like you would a little biddle bunny.  (You can tell I’ve been reading to my daughter, can’t you??)

    Remember, YOU are in charge!

    Now, put an ad on Craigslist (www.craigslist.org) for help and contact the nearest community college or university to advertise your little part-time opportunity.  Freeing up even more time a week for YOUR dream (and yourself!) will work wonders!

    Enjoy your NO diet–and your recovery from do-itus! You deserve the best!

    Onwards!

    Get your free copy of How to Overcome Overwhelm in 7 Easy Steps and your free enewsletter with VIP discounts here!


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      Reduce Stress: Five Boundaries You Must Set to De-Stress Part 1

      Spend Less, Save More, & Make Time For A Rich Life

      Spend Less, Save More, & Make Time For A Rich Life

      If you had no financial constraints, what would you be doing with your time? I’m sure you’d spend more time with family and friends and pursue the hobbies and interests you love, but after a while, even that would get old.  Most of the time, when I ask people why they aren’t doing what they love doing, it’s because of  money. Whether they’re afraid they don’t HAVE enough money to do what they really want to do, or are afraid to do what they really want because they’re afraid they won’t MAKE money, they are still afraid because of money.

      You know, there are only three concrete ways I know of to have more money: 1) make more; 2) save more; and 3) spend less.

      Not very glamorous is it? You could add a few more options for Bonnie and Clyde or the handful of rich, blond-and-tan heiresses out there, but for most of us there are only three choices.

      Make more, save more, spend less. Vanilla, chocolate, and strawberry. Your basic Neapolitan medley.

      Simple as that. No need to get fancy. (Remember, keep it simple, sexy!)

      Debt is not glamorous. Getting out of debt is not glamorous. But what you can do AFTER you get out of debt can be downright fabulous!

      Take a second now and just imagine. Imagine that you have no debt—Your car is paid for, your contributions are paid on time or early, your house is paid for, and you’ve got a nice bit of money stocked away for emergencies, retirement, your children’s education, and any other big expenditures you foresee. Hey, you’ve even got a bank account for travel and other luxuries.

      What I’m getting at is you’ve got to have a mission and it’s got to be bigger than your bank account. Your mission is not about making money, though that may certainly contribute to your ability to make your mission come true. YOU are here for a reason and it’s time to stop waffling about in a state of confusion and/or ignorance and figure out what it is!

      Where do your passion and your expertise intersect? That’s the place to start. And when you’re feeling irritated that you have to eat Neapolitan ice cream from Food Lion rather than a delicious gelato you order on your weekend trip to Rome, just remember, the Neapolitan is the gateway to your gelato!

      Make more, save more, spend less. That’s got to be your mantra. You may have to go through gallons of Neapolitan but eventually you will hit gelato GOLD! Delicious, isn’t it?

      Onwards,

      Get your free copy of How to Overcome Overwhelm in 7 Easy Steps and your free enewsletter with VIP discounts here!


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        Reduce Stress: Five Boundaries You Must Set to De-Stress Part 1

        Secrets to Have More Time Part 1

        Secrets to Have More Time Part 1

        Question:

        “Dear Barnsley, I am caring for my mother with dementia, the affairs of an uncle who is placed in a nursing home as well as helping my husband who is a pastor.  I am trying to do the ground work to open a new business, but I need more time to do the planning.  Give me some suggestions, please!”

        P.M., Gaston, NC

        Answer:

        Dear P.M., You’ve got the perfect initials my friend because you probably have to stay up ALL NIGHT to get all this stuff done!  My goodness, just reading your question makes me want to get my thyroid checked!  Contrary to public opinion, you are NOT Mrs. Fix-It or Mrs. Be-All-To-Everyone!

        So many time management programs try to help you find ways to pack MORE into your day.  Well, my dear, you are nuttier than a pecan sundae if you do that.  I want you to go on a radical “no” diet in which you say NO to doing all this yourself!

        You already know you’re doing too much–That’s a start! (Pause and pat yourself on the back–Go ahead, do it…)

        You love your mother and your uncle and obviously want to help them out.  However, there are nursing assistants, nursing students, and college students who would LOVE, especially in this economy, to have a little part-time job on the side.  PLEASE, P.M., hire one of them to do just a FEW hours every week so YOU can focus on your business. (Then make sure you go to a room and close–and lock–the door or head to a coffee shop to work on your planning.  Meet a friend there and let it be a “planning date” in which you work separately, and once an hour  take a break to share what you’ve strategized.  You’ll be amazed at how much you can get done in just an hour or two!)

        As for your husband–He’s a pastor, that’s his job.  YOUR job is to get YOUR business, YOUR mission, up and running. Find someone else to help your husband or better yet, let him put a call for volunteers in the church bulletin or newsletter to get his own helpers.  It’s NOT your responsibility to do all you’re doing, even if he is your hubby, even if you love him through and through, even if you want him to be successful.  (The one exception here is that if Rev. Hubby is giving you lots of HIS time helping YOU get YOUR business going, then it’s good for you to give a little back.  We wouldn’t want the karma gods to frown on you, now would we??)

        P.M., you’ve got a vicious (but treatable) case of “do-itus” in which you are doing for everyone else except yourself!  And, my friend, that is the fast track to a heart attack.

        STOOOOPPPPPP!  Please!  Figure out something you can let go of for just a few hours a week–say 3 to 6–and hire someone or get someone to volunteer to take over that responsibility for you. (Or just forget about it altogether–If it’s really important, that will be evident once you DON’T do it for a few days.)

        Onwards!

        Get your free copy of How to Overcome Overwhelm in 7 Easy Steps and your free enewsletter with VIP discounts here!


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          Reduce Stress: Five Boundaries You Must Set to De-Stress Part 1

          Stop Worrying & Live in the Moment

          Stop Worrying & Live in the Moment

          What’s your enthusiasm level? Do you bound out of bed in the morning or do you drag yourself to the bathroom like a ball and chain is attached to your leg? And what kind of balls and chains are you carrying around in your THOUGHTS?

          If there’s anything I know for sure it’s that the energy of WORRY is a killer. Worry is a Death Eater (remember Harry Potter’s encounters with them, hon?) that will suck the life–and enthusiasm–out of you.

          Sure, there are a million things to do–There always will be! And we can multi-task our way through life, never really letting ourselves be present in each moment.

          Sometimes, though, it’s just important to let go and be grateful, focusing on what is going right rather than wrong.

          Last week I went to a presentation on Appreciative Living, a movement dedicated to helping you reframe the stories you tell yourself about your life so you can find the good and affirm the positive. It was a potent reminder that as writer Anais Nin contends, “We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.”

          So instead of focusing on what’s wrong with your spouse, your job, your business, your teenager, or your bank account, why not focus on what’s right and feel grateful for that?

          Make a list! I mean it! Write down what you’re grateful for in the difficult person or situation at hand. Then focus on the positives.

          Are you going to delight in the delectable box of Godiva chocolates your beloved just brought you for Valentine’s Day or bemoan the fact that your beloved wrapped them in the Sunday comics? (Alright, hopefully your sweetie had the good sense to buy some QUALITY wrapping paper for those goodies, but you get the point.)

          Which do you think will get your further–gratitude or irritation? Which is an energy booster and which is a Death Eater?

          You choose YOUR focus. No one on the planet has control of your thoughts but YOU. Choose wisely, choose gratitude!

          Onwards!

          P.S. That’s me, my sweetheart, and our daughter, Zilia–along with our snowy pal, Buddy Boy!

          Get your free copy of How to Overcome Overwhelm in 7 Easy Steps and your free enewsletter with VIP discounts here!


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            Reduce Stress: Five Boundaries You Must Set to De-Stress Part 1

            Make More Time for Your Business Success

            Make More Time for Your Business Success

            People often ask me in my presentations how to take care of the things you don’t like to do in your business, and PRESTO! Without even having to wave my magic wand or don my shiny gold lame turban, lo and behold, I appear in this blog, “How to Handle Things in Your Business That You Dislike Doing.” (Magic is everywhere, isn’t it??)

            Click here and scroll down to my tip, #16.

            You’ll also get TONS of other tips you can immediately use to make the most of your time and resources and minimize your HAIR LOSS! Yep, hair loss is no fun, especially if it’s from ALL OVER your body! (Stress can take a toll even on those hard-to-find places, hon…)

            So click here and get rid of your business aggravations so you can focus on what you truly enjoy in your business.

            Onwards!

             

            Get your free copy of How to Overcome Overwhelm in 7 Easy Steps and your free enewsletter with VIP discounts here!


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