Reduce Stress: Five Boundaries You Must Set To De-Stress Part 2

Reduce Stress: Five Boundaries You Must Set To De-Stress Part 2

Reduce Stress: Five Boundaries You Must Set To De-Stress Part 2

Are you still feeling overloaded, overworked, overtired, overtaxed, and under-appreciated?  Do you still feel like your plate is not only full but  cracking under pressure?  Are you even happy?

You just might be suffering from lack of boundaries.  How can you tell if you need to be more vigilant with setting boundaries? You’re antsy, irritated, even resentful of people, your job, your family, and daily tasks.

You have to set boundaries in order to keep yourself in check, and check everyone else at the door.  

Read on to find out my second boundary for you.

When you are working, close the door, put up a “Do not disturb” sign, or in some way demarcate your work space as yours. If someone intrudes, let them know you can speak with them at a particular time.

One manager I coached had great success reserving a particular hour early in the morning for her team to consult her about problems they were having with their work. Instead of doing her team’s work for them all day long, this savvy manager started setting boundaries and therefore empowered her team members to find viable solutions while she completed her own projects.

How do you like that?  Grown people doing their own jobs!  And with only a gentle butt kick.

You set those boundaries, friend!  And get on with what YOU need to do.

Onwards,

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    Reduce Stress: Five Boundaries You Must Set To De-Stress Part 2

    Reduce Stress: Five Boundaries You Must Set to De-Stress Part 1

    Reduce Stress: Five Boundaries You Must Set to De-Stress Part 1

    Most people these days feel overloaded, overworked, overtired, over-everything! Not only are our plates full, but we’re about to drop everything on the floor. 

    May I suggest that boundaries are the key to regaining your energy, your peace of mind, and your productivity? Think about it. If you’re going in a million directions trying to please everyone, will you ever reach even ONE destination? You’ll drive around in circles or a zigzag, but you certainly won’t get anywhere.

    Let me suggest some boundaries you can set that will free you up for success.  The first thing I suggest is taking a time-out.  Did you know that surgeons are required to do a time-out and make sure all the players are in their places?  Yep, they have to double check these things.  You should, too.

    Shut everyone and everything out for just a few minutes each morning. Develop a daily practice of listening, a time alone in which you check in with yourself, review your mission, and ask, “What is the best, most valuable use of my time right now and today?”

    Whether you work for yourself or work for someone else, always make sure you align your work with your values.  You must do this to create balance in your life so you don’t get burned out.  Check out the video below to find out about an awesome freebie that will help you overcome overwhelm.

    So grab the bull by the horns and get on it, pardner!

    Onwards,

    Get your free copy of How to Overcome Overwhelm in 7 Easy Steps and your free enewsletter with VIP discounts here!


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      Reduce Stress: Five Boundaries You Must Set To De-Stress Part 2

      Serving Others to Bring Happiness, Spiritual Health, and Wealth

      Serving Others to Bring Happiness, Spiritual Health, and Wealth

      What are you up to this summer? Are you lazing around indoors trying to avoid the heat? If you are, I’d like to give you one of my patented GBKs (gentle butt kick) and tell you to get out there and do something with your time, lest you get as stagnant as the summer heat. 

      Do something this summer! Volunteer. You don’t have to be outside at all; you can volunteer indoors. Serving others can bring happiness not only to those you serve, but to yourself as well.  Just because the air is stagnant doesn’t mean you have to be.

      Now, I’m staying home this summer, but in the past, you know that I’ve traveled quite a bit.  I want to share a story with y’all, a story I shared during a Sunday talk for the Unity Church of Raleigh.  Just click on the play button below, grab some lemonade, and sit a spell.  Pay attention so you will know who the heck “Mama Ida” is and why I still have something of hers in the top drawer of my dresser.

      You don’t have to travel halfway around the world to work on your spiritual health. Just remember, every time you serve others, you’re giving back on a spiritual level. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again; the word “wealth” comes from the word “weal,” which means well-being. How are you contributing to the wealth of your own community?

      I want you to focus on your own spiritual health as well. Love yourself… just not in a narcissistic way.  If you don’t love yourself, how can anyone else love you? If you’re not happy with yourself, you can’t give a part of yourself for the betterment of your community and the world. Feel like you’re not a people person? Go volunteer at an animal shelter. Animals are people too!

      I want you to bring happiness to others (and yourself) by serving others in some capacity, even if it’s playing with the animals at the shelter or finding food banks to donate to. Your spirits will be lifted by helping out your sisters and brothers on the planet. 

      Whatever you do, I want you to do it with love, happiness, and a great big smile!

      Onwards,

      Get your free copy of How to Overcome Overwhelm in 7 Easy Steps and your free enewsletter with VIP discounts here!


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        Reduce Stress: Five Boundaries You Must Set To De-Stress Part 2

        Celebrate Father’s Day Whether Giving Thanks or Mourning a Loss

        Celebrate Father’s Day Whether Giving Thanks or Mourning a Loss

        This is a little personal.  Indulge me, would you?

        This morning I woke up with tears streaming down my cheeks.  I went to the bathroom to grab my toothbrush and the tears were still flowing…right down the sink along with my Tom’s of Maine mint toothpaste.

        Why? I had a pretty palpable dream last night and want to share it with you.

        In  the dream, I was reunited with someone I love.  I was traveling–I’m not sure where–and the moment that I saw this person open his arms, I ran straight into them, gave him the biggest bear hug possible, didn’t let go, and started crying (sobbing really, if you want to be exact.)

        It was such an intense, believable dream that when I awoke, I felt like it had happened moments ago.  (Have you ever had those dreams where you are drinking coffee and you wake up with your arm in the air “holding” a mug?  Or you’re eating some absolutely sinful chocolate cheesecake and when you awake, your hand is poised as if you’re holding the folk full of a tasty morsel?  Am I the only one who does this?)

        This dream was palpable–both physically and emotionally.

        Who was the “mystery man”?  It wasn’t some long lost love, an old friend I’d lost touch with, or my father.  It was my stepfather.

        To fill in a bit of background for you; I haven’t seen my stepfather in over 20 years.  When he and my mother split up, things got ugly and we lost contact.  (May I please pause for a second and say something to ALL the stepfathers and stepmothers out there–If you DO end your current marriage, PLEASE try to keep in touch with your stepkids, whether or not they seem to want to stay in touch.  And parents, if you split with your second–or third, or whatever–spouse, don’t consider your kids “traitors” for wanting to stay in touch with their stepparent, alright?)

        This dream is one of several I’ve had over the past few months.  It seems that after two decades, I’m finally mourning a loss, the “loss” of my stepfather, Charlie Brown. (Yes, that is REALLY his name–and I took his surname, “Brown,” at the age of eighteen to signify that he was the father I’d never had.)

        Charlie taught me many things–One of his characteristic responses to situations was simply this: “Think.”  Usually it was when he thought someone was driving poorly or I wasn’t performing well.  He would just say “Think” and then I had to figure my way out of whatever situation I was in or figure out why he was saying this about someone else (i.e. what they were doing wrong.)  He didn’t SOLVE the problem–He was a catalyst to figuring out a solution.

        When I look at my coaching work with people now, THINK is often the angle I take with clients.  I recognize that each of us can ALWAYS figure a way out of our pain and challenges when we are working with the most powerful part of ourselves, the part of ourselves that knows without a doubt that we are Divine Energy in Action.  (Hey, just substitute “Creative Spirit” if “Divine” doesn’t work for you…)

        My dream about my stepfather reminds me that we are always connected with those we love–physically and/or spiritually–whether or not they are still on the planet.  WE CARRY THEIR LOVE AND SUPPORT WITH US EVERYWHERE WE GO!

        We should be giving thanks for that.

        This is why I begin one of my presentations, “The Top Traits of Highly Effective Leaders” with a simple exercise in which you close your eyes and think of someone who made a difference in your life, someone without whom you would not be who (or where!) you are today.  You think of the top two or three qualities you admire about that person. (And by the way, you wouldn’t focus on those qualities unless YOU HAVE THEM YOURSELF–You can’t identify something you don’t already know at some level… THINK about it.)

        Many times, people choose a father or mother for this exercise–It makes sense doesn’t it?

        My dream reminds me that we each have been fathered, whether by a  biological parent, a stepfather, a teacher of ours, a minister, a neighbor, or even a friend.  We have metaphorical fathers all around us, sometimes in the most unlikely of places (i.e. a mentor at work, a wise mailman, our trusted financial adviser, and so on).

        This Father’s Day, I encourage you to contact one of those “fathers” of yours and let them know you care and are grateful for their influence in your life.  And if they’re not still on the planet, send up a prayer of thanks and love.  It will reach them, you can be sure.

        Happy Fathers Day!

        Onwards,

        Get your free copy of How to Overcome Overwhelm in 7 Easy Steps and your free enewsletter with VIP discounts here!


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          Reduce Stress: Five Boundaries You Must Set To De-Stress Part 2

          How to Be Human, Not Perfect, & Celebrate You!

          How to Be Human, Not Perfect, & Celebrate You!

          I promise I haven’t forgotten about you–How could I forget about fabulous, fantastic, fortuitous YOU?

          Recently, I had some (completely fixable) health issues that forced me to slow down a bit. No, I don’t have swamp fever or anything life threatening, so no worries! But slowing down just a tad gave me the OPPORTUNITY to take a good unwavering look at who I am, what I do, and what I believe.

          In the midst of the physical “stuff,” there were a few instances of not seeing eye to eye with other people (isn’t that a delicate way to put it??)that also gave me the OPPORTUNITY to examine my beliefs about how we should treat people, personally and in business. In other words, I got a crash course in how to be human, not perfect.

          I’m not perfect. You’re not perfect either. But remember that when it gets right down to it, NO ONE loves a “Barbie”–She’s plastic and anatomically inauthentic, plus how CAN she claim to get around in those pointy-toe high heels?

          My point? It’s our faults, our issues, our imperfections–being human–that make us lovable.

          So, dear, would you toast with me today to being human, to the parts of us that feel not good enough, guilty, confused, and even a little stupid at times?

          And by the way, who says we have to have it all together all of the time? (That’s why I’m going to create a new holiday, National Meltdown Day, where it is culturally sanctioned–even required– for us to ENJOY our imperfection and fall apart for a day.)

          Here’s to being WRONG, to being JUDGED by others and ourselves, and to feeling CUT OFF from the part of us that is BIGGER than all this human “drama.” Clink clink to that, my dear!

          And while you’re toasting, watch this stunning (and I do mean stunning!) music video by Claudia Carawan and you’ll be back on track. It’s time to celebrate you, wonder-full YOU!

          Kick that d#$mn banana peel you slipped on to the curb (yeah, you know EXACTLY who or what it represents), and carry on, hon!

          Onwards,

          Get your free copy of How to Overcome Overwhelm in 7 Easy Steps and your free enewsletter with VIP discounts here!


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